Hi! I recently engaged in a stimulating conversation with myself. I use the word “stimulating” only because its much more preferred over its root term, mind-fucking. This “mind-fucking” conversation usually takes place in the bathroom. This is natural in that we tend to permit our thoughts to be passive while we’re showering or mounting the bucket. More than occasionally I “mind-fuck” in bed right before falling asleep. There’s no learning curve here obviously because like most men, I tend to fall asleep almost immediately following regular-sex too. How convenient.
So here’s the juicy details of what went on in my bed head last night. About a year ago I read Stephen Hawkins’ 1988 best-seller “A Brief History of Time”. The book attempts to share with you Hawkins’ ideas about how the universe began. It’s full of possible explanations for outer-space and black holes, but what may be more interesting is its elaborate chapters on the big bang theory. Hawkins’ has devoted his life to disassembling the universe and piecing it all back together bit by bit (so you could imagine how kick-ass he must be in Janga). He’s an English Theoretical Physicist, but its probably easier to think of him as a master in karma sutra mind-fucking. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing out. You’ve just got to let this guy blow your mind (no pun intended).
So as I slipped into my bed last night and got snugly, I got to thinking about everything as a hole, I mean whole. I thought about Agnosticism’s take on creation with an open mind and of course Christianity’s take which I assumed people would favor more. I closed my eyes and dug a little deeper (the question was asking for it). I thought, why is the bible more interesting? Then it hit me. Probably because of the bible’s unfair advantage of heroic characters and compelling story lines. It’s full of people walking on water, living in whale bellies for three days and a 600 year old man who builds a massive sea vessel capable of sustaining life for 377 days. Let’s face it, its practically pre-historic Disney. If Noah would have written “…and then the boy took a magic carpet ride with the princess and they both sang a hymn called - A Whole New World”, it wouldn’t sound so far fetched if it were right next to “…and so then Noah raised his staff and the entire red sea parted and made a path for he and his people to cross”. You’ve got to agree. It’s just a bit more interesting than “maybe something in space went boom and we all just appeared”.
I’d like the record to show that I’m not suggesting the stories printed in the bible never happened. Nor am I saying they did. I was raised by a Christian family and have always found these stories to be quite entertaining. Even though I’m not a member of any legitimate religious group today, almost fourteen years later, I still find the bible an exhilarating read filled with every element necessary to create a modern day hollywood blockbuster. Of course, Woody Allen could never write a screenplay more exciting than God’s.
So there I was, deep in thought. I was questioning everything I’ve been taught since I was a boy, and it felt great. I started thinking about things outside of the bible and tried to gain an alternative perspective, the perspective of an agnostic. Although there wasn’t really anything to draw from, largely due to the fact that agnostics stand on both sides of the fence. Still, just thinking as someone else would about this topic for a moment provoked an outer-body experience. Now how many can say they’ve had sex that good? I grew bored of the Agnostic perspective because of it’s lack of cool stories and gray bearded characters in robes. So I had to move on, or I’ll lose my mojo.
I began to think about the Aztecs and the unexplained wonders they left us to find. I thought about the pyramids all over the world that share the same astronomical measurements in a time when it would have been impossible to travel by sea or lug stones weighing tons across a desert. I thought about the thousands of reptile bones that have been discovered and reconstructed into, what appears to me as fierce giant lizards.
The night was heating up, I knew it was only a matter of time before the climax approached. So I gave a few last hard pounders, I mean ponders and drove it home with the thought of planets.
I began questioning, how beautiful is Earth? In it’s entirety it would, to us, appear as the most beautiful planet in our universe. Yards of fields covered in green waving grass. White fluffy clouds hovering over deep oceans of blue. It’s no wonder everyone finds blue jeans appropriate, even with a multi- colored shirt. I couldn’t help but wonder if beings from other galaxies wore jeans the color of their planet too. Then I thought what purpose would God have created the other planets for if this one is the only one capable of generating life? Do the other planets support Earth in anyway? And if there are other planets sustaining intelligent life out there, how long before I could date an extra terrestrial chick? Had the bible mentioned that? Was there something I missed? I decided I’d end it there and fell asleep with a stupid grin on my face. Another satisfying mind-fuck.
Let me encourage you. Next time you ‘do’ your loved one, try having this sort of conversation. Maybe you could merge the mind-fuck and regular-sex into something magical. If you feel an urgency to pull out a fag and lite it, please do so now.
As a young screenwriter I try to watch as many films as I possibly can. More than often I come across touching films that really leave a mark. Today I watched the biography film based on the life of Truman Milk. He was the gay rights activist who fought for the rights gay people enjoy today in San Francisco and perhaps had an influence worldwide. Sean Penn did an amazing job once again. I highly recommend this moving film following the life of this courageous man.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of joining a fellow screenwriter to see George Clooney’s new film “Up In Air” at the London Film Festival. It was amazing.
I’ve just finished setting up my Tumblr blog. Very easy process by the way. Maybe it’s because this is my third blog here. I haven’t been able to keep the others going like I’d have liked to.
There’s so much interesting things happening, here’s where I’ll post them. Excuse the occasional rambles and rants. I’ll mostly blog about Film. Nice meeting you.